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Introducing:) The on3 and only Hema!Turning 21 soon.Currently studying in SIM-UOL( Economics and Finance)
Three main wishes: First is to die dancing. Second is to live without any regrets and third is to have this family for ever end ever:)
Contact: Hahahhaha, you either have it or you dont:)
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Date: Friday, January 30, 2009 | Time: 4:26 AM
Nanana, this is for you. Once I have updated, STOP PESTERING ME! and go find someone your own size to pick on! Got it? Hehe. *winks*Well, anyway read Jes Ka's blog and felt really touched. Thanks ka for that simple gesture, it really, really means alot. Sisters all the way! Loves...I have FINALLY, FINALLY, done something that I have always wanted to do. I have started volunteering at MCYS, teaching two chinese boys how to sing a tamil song for the Foster Family party thingy in July. I finally feel complete. Hehe. But really, giving back to the society helps to ease some of your burden too, both emotionally and mentally. When I go there, my problems seem to shrink to a really minuscule level. There is this Tamil song that says that no matter how bad times are for you, there will always be someone else less fortunate than you out there. I truly believe in that song, and how much I can, I try my best to reach out to those less fortunate than me. Like the tissue buying thingy which is a joke between Ma and Nans. There is this old, partially blind man who sells tissue packets at the Yishun Mrt and whenever I see him, I pay him two bucks for three tissue packets. I continued this until one day, I realised that my wallet had burned a hole and I had no money myself. Lesson learnt: Check for cash before purchasing. But, yea, no matter what, I am not going to stop buying tissue packets from that uncle. So there Nans. Do what you can!* pokes out tongue and runs away giggling*So yeah, where was I? The part where that no matter how horrid times are for you, always know that there is someone worse out there than you and by reaching out, that horrid times will seem a tad little better. When I went there, I realised that there are sooo many children out there who have no future and have to be looked after by someone else, all because their bloody fucking parents dont see the need to look after them.Then why fuck and get yourself the kid in the first place? IMMATURED assholes. I wish I could get hold of all these people and strangle them to death. Of course, I have other more violent methods of murder but that shall be kept censored cos this spot might not carry the Parental Guidance , which it actually should. Ah well...And the balance of nature has come to play again. Yin and yang, black and white, evil and good. When there are such idiots out there, there are also really nice people out there who help to balance the order. I met the lady in charge, who is really nice and the two foster parents of the Chinese boys, who are Indians. I would like to think that I am one of the good people who help to balance the nature, in favour of the white.I feel like a whole new person now. Like the blindfolds have finally been taken away and I am viewing the world with the naked eye and not through the spy glass that this Nation has created. I have, and am, seeing Man's evils but at the same time, I am seeing the great deeds brought about by Man. I have realised that it is always those who do not have, who are willing to give what they have to someone else. Like today when Jack, one of the boys, gave me his drink can cos according to him, I will be thirsty when he had only one, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Call me a softie but there it was. Here was a boy who literally had nothing and he was offering me a drink. It might be a small gesture but it meant a lot. And being a drama mama, I derive the greatest pleasure from the smallest, sweetest gestures.So Jes ka, I dont need a Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet. I am beautiful, both inside and most importantly, on the out. I dont need appreciation cos I love and appreciate myself, with the amazon build and all. I may have my flaws but heck, there is no human without the flaws. It is about time that I value my strengths and embrace my weaknesses. after all, there is only one of Hema to go around:)This is like totally random. I recalled this story that Mother Theresa said. She went to a house, dying of poverty and gave them a bowl of rice. The lady of the house halved the rice and headed next door. Astonished, the saint asked the lady where was she going. And to that, the lady answered that she was going to share the rice with her neighbours, who were worse off than her. I truly believe what Mother Theresa said next. It is the poor who have the time to think of others but the rich always, only think of themselves.Live is full of choices. Make the wise ones and strive.
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Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2009 | Time: 7:37 PM
There are times when you tend to view a sideways glance, a single word or just a simple hand gesture as something more. You then tend to have images and thoughts of your own. Fantasies, hopes and desires. I have realised why I have never dwelled upon all three is that well, there are just what they are named to be. Hopes, dreams and stuff that are intangible. Things that cannot attained through hard work. And here, I have always loved tangible items, stuff that I KNOW for a fact that I will be able to achieve. Like a degree, my driving license and my complete bharatanatyam certificate. Things that can be felt and ACHIEVED. I guess that's the basis of life. If you are someone who is able to attain a particular level of things, then forget about the stuff that can only be attained through the mind of the heart. I have always felt and thought that matters of the heart were always a tad more complicated and, guess, as usual, I was right.I hate always being right.But, then again, life has this fundamental thing. Black and White. Yin and yang. I rather take the black any day so that I can fight against it. The colours amidst all that black and white? I am not bothering with that. Let the colours remain as such. I will not take a part in it. This were the stuff that I was pondering and wondering about last night when I was tossing and turning about in bed last night. life for me will remain as such. Complete with ironies and ill-twisted choices. Choices that I should have taken, or should not have taken. Heck, I will leave the past be. And look forward to the future?Bullshit.Something cropped up yesterday. I remembered when I lost my earring in JC and my entire class were running helter skelter, finding for it. Gosh, I was sooo touched that day. Such memories are sooo sweet and tend to remain as a better part of you aites? I think I should have done philosophy as a major, instead of Economics. But then again, in this fucked up world, money IS everything.I hate having an amazon build. Whoever who said it was sexy had and have eyes behind their back. I will kill for angles rather than all the stupid curves that I posses.Ah well... You dont get everything that you want. ..
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Date: Friday, January 9, 2009 | Time: 4:27 AM
I am depressed.I know its a totally horrible time for me to be depressed cos its gonna be the release of the O levels and its time for the O level students to take the stand for anxiety, nervousness and/or excitement. But depression does not ask you before it settles down. So here I am, feeling depressed- just 9 days after the new year. I went to YJC open house today and followed Nandhini and her friends to NYP and Janu followed me. And memories came flooding back when I was 16 and of course, regrets. What if I have taken Biomedical course in a polytechnic? Would I then have gone to a local uni? What if I have chosen to go to another JC, instead of YJC? What if I had NOT taken H2 Chem? Unfortunately, I will never know the results of these ifs.So, a piece of advice to all of you who are going to take a whole new path this Monday, choose carefully, plan beforehand and ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART. I know its a bit thick coming from someone who is depressed but it helps. If it helps, take down a piece of paper and write down all the things you WANNA do if you meet your expectations and the things that you CAN do if you do not meet your expectations. This prepares you for the BEST and the WORST. I did it for my As and it helped, REALLY helped. And, whatever happens, remember that life has to go on, there are many options for you and just look forward. Whats done is done. Just go on forward with a strong heart and a strong mind. ALL THE BEST FOR ALL THE O LEVEL STUDENTS!And, now, the reason as to why I am really depressed. Its true that ONLY you remain true to yourself. So, yeah, I have realised that I am a bitch and that I have got to live with that. Thanks for the insight through your many snappish remarks.
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Date: Wednesday, January 7, 2009 | Time: 5:34 AM
The O level results are out THIS MONDAY! Why the hell am I sooo scared that my heart is going thumpity thump since I have been there and done that already? Cos I am scared for Nans. If possible, more scared for her than I was for myself. I want her to do REALLY, REALLY well, much better than me and I want her to be able to get into whatever that she wants to do. I have realised that my sister's dreams HAS to be achieved. I am going to pray and cross my fingers. I want to be there when she collects it but I have school on Monday and to make matters worse, I have a Maths test. Probably, I will skip it. Hmmm, food for thought.*grinns*Thats it. Nothing much to blog about except for the hottie that I just met when returning home from tuition. I had NO idea that I had such a HOT GUY staying at Sapphire. Should keep my eyes peeled open:)There, Nans. I have updated. Happy?
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Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009 | Time: 6:59 PM
HAPPY 2009! Another year of hopes, dreams, lessons and learning.Yeah! I am sooo hyped out about this year cos I KNOW its going to be GREAT! Or at least I am going to make sure that it is:)
The year started out with the countdown at Jes Ka's house. After cutting the vegetables and basically cleaning out the stuff, we headed out to have our veg pizza and Pepsi and we had the countdown and saw some fireworks from REALLY afar. But it was FANTABULOUS! Haha, then that morning, there was the Ayyapan prayers at Jes Ka's house, followed by the prayers at the temple in the evening. After that, Durga Ka, Muthu anna. Vadi anna, Sivaji mama, Papa attha, Ma, Pa, Nans and I went to have our dinner where Nans, Ma and I had a VERY enlightening conversation with Sivaji mama. Tsk!Tsk! Even at peaceful sanctuaries, dirty politics come to play. Today, I woke up at 9 to clean the prayer room and do the normal Friday prayers.I am FINALLY getting in touch with my spiritual self. So, yeah, this year is turning out to be JUST GREAT.I will be turning 20 this coming May! Haha, dont know whether to be pleaded or to be upset that me teen years are behind me. Never mind, I will remain a child at heart.*winks*There are sooo many resolutions for this year that I am going to TRY to uphold.* I BADLY WANT TO START MY DANCE ARANGETRAM PRACTICE THIS YEAR!* I WANT TO OFFICIALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY FASHION DESIGNING TALENTS.* I WANT TO DO WELL FOR MY EXAMS. ( Great, the usual nail-biting tension.)* I WANT TO TRY TO REDUCE MY SARCASM.* I WANT TO START LEARNING VEENAI AND SALSA !There, five resolutions to be completed during the course of twelve months. A new year, new hopes! Once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!