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Introducing:) The on3 and only Hema!Turning 21 soon.Currently studying in SIM-UOL( Economics and Finance)
Three main wishes: First is to die dancing. Second is to live without any regrets and third is to have this family for ever end ever:)
Contact: Hahahhaha, you either have it or you dont:)
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Date: Saturday, December 29, 2007 | Time: 8:29 PM
I do not understand what is the deal with the adults on my mother's side. It is no problem if their kids want to spend their time elsewhere but I do not have a mind on my own? I loved seeing the shock on Police mama's face when I insisted that I am going to spend the New Year's eve at Durga ka's house. I mean, what is the big deal? I feel soo much more appreciated and loved there. I want this year to be spent with people I love and adore. This IS going to be a new year and I wanna start it with a bang. I mean it. I still do not get it why it is sooo big a matter when Gowri attai is sooo happily stating that Sathish is gonna spend his new year with HIS friends. Aargh! The complexities of life. It is difficult to comprehend it.
Lol, anyways cannot wait for tomorrow. It is gonna be a whole NEW YEAR! I cannot wait, the challenges, the surprises. The mere fact that I am growing up. Haha. It is gonna be well spent though. Meeting Saras and Archanna at Orchard to go SHOPPING! Then, the movie marathon at Durga ka's. One hell of a New year's Eve!
Oh, ya. Haha. Once again, came across a poem that I completely associated myself with. Wanted to type it down. So, here goes nothing.
Especially by Me
by Jennifer Leigh Youngs
In the midst of work or play,
I sometimes fade,
And think of the time when I couldn't laugh,
When nothing good was noticed,
Especially by me.
I was a girl who cared too much
and lived through others' tangled lives,
Weaving their crosses through my heart,
But nothing made a difference,
Especially for me.
Now I look at all I've done
to find my happiness in others,
Singing songs that weren't mine,
But somehow left impressions,
Especially on me.
I don't need others' joy or pain
to make my life whole or complete,
I laugh or cry, and it's all mine,
As is all the love which I'm now sharing
Especially with me.
I am glad that I have found that out at least now. I am going to start living for myself from today onwards!
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Date: Wednesday, December 26, 2007 | Time: 7:05 PM
I think I am really going to get a cardiac arrest the way things are going. Not a single effing school has called me back for relief teaching. It really sucks because my dear alumni maters are the ones who are acting all sophisticated and asking me to send my resume. Aargh! To put it in their words, " To keep it in our database." Double Aargh! I am soo peeved! Who says that it is easy finding a job? And it is all crap when your alumni maters say that they are ready to help us whenever they can. Probably the schools around Yishun keep to their promise. Archanna got her relief teaching even though she called almost three weeks after I did. That's luck. The luck I am getting right now is like shit. Probably I am not cut out for teaching. But that is BULLSHIT! I absolutely adore kids and there is such joy in teaching them. Erm... but I prefer teaching kids with special needs. Cos they are extra-special! Anyways, if I am not good with kids, why does everyone keep on telling me that I am soo good with kids and that I will make a great mother someday?! Aargh! The steam is emitting out from both sides of my ears!
On the other hand, I found out the most amazing thing yesterday! I have finally achieved the flat stomach I was craving and dying for for the past few years! Yippee!I feel so proud. Now, I really like looking at myself in the mirror. Finally! Something about me that resembles the thing I love most in the world, a dancer!Sighsss....
Went out with Vins, Rups and Nans yesterday. Watched I Am Legend. WILL SMITH IS SOOO HOT, it is unbelievable. By the way, the movie is GREAT!I loved the storyline! Haha. After that, we went to stuff our faces at KFC. Then, it was over:( So fast ah, Vins? Next time, should spend a longer time together, k?
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Date: Thursday, December 20, 2007 | Time: 6:30 PM
Oh, man. The outing with Jes ka and Durga ka was not only fun, it was enlightening too. We were bitching non stop but it was sooo fun. For once, I need not have to care that whatever that I am telling them in secrecy will be leaked out. I felt totally at peace. Haha. So, this IS how it feels to have older sisters. I feel great. Sooo glad that we are bonding now, before it is too late. Probably God sent that devil to wreck the relationships with my maternal cousins ( Is there such a word?). Perhaps he was gently nudging us in the other direction. He was showing us something, I guess. That aside, I think I have a tendency to crush on people who come with a ready made problem. First there was Suria ( nope, no longer care who reads this and goes babbling all over) and then, there was that HUGE problem. Now, this.... I must watch my back cos I have a TREMENDOUS flaw of falling for the Casanova. Aargh! And, I cannot believe I had such FALSE, TERRIBLE accusations thrown at me! Does she think she is some sort of saint?! Probably she is that type of girl but I AM BLOODY NOT! God, WHY would I even SAY that? I mean, come on. I had been called a snob, a bossy brat, pampered( which I am and proud of it!) but NEVER, EVER .... Aargh! I know I promised that she will not get to me but I am just SOOOO DAMN PISSED! Akkas, both of you are SOOO right! This one is a total, breathing BITCH! And, ya, she is from the deepest depths of hell. The only problem is that she has not fully seen the likes of me. If she does not like anyone, she stops at no means to ruin that person? Well, erm... she is messing with the wrong person. I may look all goody on the outside but I can be a real bitch if I wanna be. Gosh, I am trembling with fury now. Good Lord, I have to stop now before I start breathing fire.
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Date: Monday, December 17, 2007 | Time: 6:42 PM
Ma will definitely have a freak attack if she sees me now. I am blogging, listening to my mp3, singing along to it and organising the games for the Christmas Party all at the same time. I think I just bought a whole new meaning to multi-tasking. Haha. Today has been a well spent morning thus far. Woke up and felt like cleaning something and since I have already washed, scrubbed my toilet till it is sparkling clean last week, decided to clean the prayer room. Ma bought flowers so I 'decorated' the prayer room. I mean, that is my job every Friday so might as well spread it to Tuesdays as well. Something has gotten into me! I am becoming a girly GIRL! I really do not know if that is a good thing or a bad one. Come to think about it, it is not my fault that I am so tomboyish cos I did grew up with guys. I never really had an elder sister at that time. Of course, now I do but at that time, I was always with Vijay anna, Siva anna and Arun anna. When Sathish was born, I prided in being his older sister. Now, when I am pondering, I just realized with a jolt that the first game I did play was soccer and to top it , Pa is a great soccer player. So, I guess it just sums it up. Erm.... I think the only girly thing I loved was skirts and that passion has not wavered in the least. Have 20 skirts and counting! Nans, Shamini, Shalini, Bella, they all had me to look up to as their older sister and I feel kinda proud. People can poison minds to wreck relationships but memories are something really special and can never be destroyed. I am glad I have those memories and am hopeful that when the girls look back at some point of their lives, they realize I was the first real sister they had when they were growing up and that I had made at least a bit of impact on their lives. I am not complaining about my childhood, I honestly think I have one to boast about but still.... Probably if I had had an older sister at that time, I might have been a bit more feminine.... Heck, still glad that I had turned out this way. Nans was sooo sweet the other night, she made me cry. She said that she is like that cos of me and that she has always looked up to me and wanted to be just like me cos I was perfect and that all her attainments were partly cos of me. I was sooo touched. I think that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me. Damn, now I am sobbing. I am soo grateful for Jes ka and Durga ka. At least I have some older sisters now. And, am loving it!:)
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Date: | Time: 2:42 AM
Aargh! Sooo bored, again! In the name of fun, decided to do another string of Tickle tests. It sure makes ME feel good and I have never felt more satisfied with myself than ever! Sighzzz....
What Color Is Your Aura?
Turquoise!
We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Turquoise vibe. Turquoise types are often intelligent, energetic leaders. Vibrant and dynamic, you take center stage wherever you go; people are naturally drawn in by your charismatic nature. You love to learn, and you excel at remembering facts and figures. More than likely, you're a go-getter with your eyes on the prize. Respect and influence tend to come to you easily, but that doesn't mean you sit around waiting for them. What fun is achieving something if getting there isn't a challenge? Always pushing your limits, you'd be a natural on Survivor — a healthy competitive instinct and a willingness to take risks means you usually reach your goals. You like to look, feel, and act your best; if all those ducks are in a row, nothing's gonna get in your way.
The ESP Test
An unusually strong talent in the area of Precognition!
This means you have an uncanny ability to look into the future and know ahead of time what is going to happen. You might, for instance, simply know that you're going to get that job before the interview even happens with a certainty that exceeds what you would expect to have simply knowing the facts of the situation. You might have a sense of dread before going out for the evening only to later have a flat tire on your way home. These little hunches are easy to ignore but for you especially, quite often lead to a true prediction of what is going to happen. These predictions can be used to generate positive outcomes, and the more you know about how to use your talent, the more you will be able to distinguish between fantasy of the future and an actual reality you are seeing happen, before it has actually happened.
What's my dream theme?
Mastery!
You're dreaming about maximizing opportunities and achieving well-deserved success. This means that in some area of your waking life, you are adequately prepared and things are working out just the way you want. Dreams are the stories your unconscious narrates each night as you sleep.
Damn and the computer has to stall now! Sighzzz.... Well, I guess that's it then.
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Date: Wednesday, December 12, 2007 | Time: 11:01 PM
Well, the sleepover at Saras's house was damn cool! I was the earliest to arrive there, helped her to get the stuff ready. Pretty soon , the rest of the girls arrived. Only Shruthi and I were dressed according to the theme, Fairy Princess gone Goth. Lol, there was nothing goth bout me, wore my pink skirt and the white blouse, looked kinda sweet though I say so myself. *giggles* Suba had to go all motherly on me and asked me why I do not wear make-up to enhance, to put in her words exactly, " my already very pretty face". Well, no comment but make-up is just sooo disgusting. I am already stuck with wearing the weird stuff during dance performances, I am not wearing it on a everyday basis. Now, I have gone off the track. Well, we all baked the Oreo cheesecake under the supervision of Saras. lol, it was fun. Shalini was busy licking off the frothing, so not my thing! Hahahahaha. Shanthi made Mee Goreng for us, it was nice. Then, we played a few games. The best part was when we watched the Hindi film from 3.30 to 6.30 in the morning! Forgot the title of the film but it was a cool one, made me think what if we find our soul mates after marriage. Well I for one, will not break the marriage unlike what Sharuk Khan and Rani Mukerjii did in the movie. But, just got me thinking, that's all.... Affairs are a disgusting thing. The very least someone should do if the find their true love after their marriage is to file for a divorce then do all the crap they wanna do. Sighzzz.... But, it is a wonder how easily people can slip into affairs.
Anyway, only had one hour of sleep on Tuesday. Came home and met up with Ma for lunch. Slept like a pig for another two hours in the evening. Then, Ma and Nandhini had a strong urge to visit the temple. I wanted to sleep but in fear of the wrath of Ma, decided to tag along. Glad I did for some reason. *sighsss*
Well, the next day was pretty cool too. Had a movie marathon with Ma and Nans. Watched Charlotte's Web, cried like shit over that movie, watched some horror gore movie after that, then ended with 30 Days Of Night. Drooled over Josh Harnett. Nans is right, I have no fear of anything, well, maybe except cats but that's it. Pretty cool, come to think about it... Hahahaha. This hols has been a eye opener for me. Appreciating myself more and more. Loves!
Wanna go out with Jes ka and Durga ka. Screwing up my brain for the ideal date. But, am feeling like shit. Got the entire works, fever, flu , sore throat. Aargh! I hate it when I am sick! Think has to do with the lack of sleep. Sighsss.... Whatever.....
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Date: Sunday, December 9, 2007 | Time: 7:43 PM
Oh, man. And I thought I will be updating my blog more now that As are finally over. Aargh! Never mind, I have been busying myself with outings after outings. Lol. I think my blog is becoming more like a travel diary now, but heck. Erm.... where did I last stop? Oh, yeah.... On the 28 of November....k, Nandhini's friend Nandu(hahahaha) came over to group study but I managed to pester her to follow us to the movies. Of course, she agreed, never underestimate the power of Hema's speech. Lol. Janu met us at northpoint. She looked sooo different! I guess the red highlights had done the trick. We watched The Bee movie, it was kinda cute. Then, of course, my dear Nans had to take her famous neoprints. So, we did that. Nans and her neoprint collection! Sighzzz....
The next day was the best! We had extra dance class at 6.30 so my dance babes and I decided to meet earlier to cause some havoc! Haha. Dana, Nans and myself met at three and made our way to Mos Burger to have a late lunch. Shamu and Arul joined us later. Arul is soo not one of my dance mates but he is like the best younger brother I have got! So, then... the fun began! We went to the arcade and we spent 60 bucks there! But, it was soooo much fun, worth the money. There was this hammer thingy and we had a bet among ourselves as to who was the strongest. Guess who won? Nans! It was hilarious, she hit it sooo lightly but it went all the way to the top! There was a group of Chinese guys surrounding us, they were shell-shocked! I had to go all crazy, held Nans' hand high up and started yelling ," she hit 300, she hit 300!" It was funny. Then, of course we danced our hearts out, though we were giggling half the time. It was a great day but the fun was just beginning!
We went to Penang on Monday with Shamu and Arul's family. Ohmigod! It was the best est of the best est! The first day was quite calm, we just lounged in the hotel rooms which was sooo cool cos we, kids, had one room all to ourselves! Haha, I laughed till my sides ached! Arul is so, indefinitely FUNNY!
Tuesday was the BEST day of my entire life. First, we went to the Spice Garden and of course, I was acting like a tour guide. Even I had no idea how much I knew about plants. The smell was heavenly, the freshness of the place was breathtaking! The day just got better and better. I managed to manipulate everyone into going to the butterfly farm. It was the most beautiful place! There were butterflies EVERYWHERE! I was in heaven! I think about 6 of them sat on my palm, they were unbelievably gorgeous! Then, we went for the show and it was even more cool! I held all sorts of insects on my palm. Lets see, there was a stick insect, a leaf insect, a salamander and a scorpion! I was fully aware of my uniqueness that day cos I was the first one to hold the scorpion and of course, the only female species! Haha. All hail the Great Hema! Then, came the greatest part! There was a python, my favourite thing in the entire world! Of course, I held it, cooed to it, played with it. Its name is Amy and it had such intricate patterns on it, it was beautiful! Then, we went back to the hotel for a swim. It was sooo refreshing! Then, we went to the Little India of Penang, where I got my first saree! The colours are sooo pretty! Then, Shamu, Arul, Nans and myself spoke,gossiped,bitched till 2 at night! FUN!
The other two days were just as great. I am finally released from the kingdom of boredom and thrown into the world of FUN! Great, now I am going all metaphorical. Today is sleepover at Saras'. Cant wait!