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Introducing:) The on3 and only Hema!Turning 21 soon.Currently studying in SIM-UOL( Economics and Finance)
Three main wishes: First is to die dancing. Second is to live without any regrets and third is to have this family for ever end ever:)
Contact: Hahahhaha, you either have it or you dont:)
★ I am just BORED!
Date: Monday, April 16, 2007 | Time: 2:59 AM
The one day that school finishes early has to be the day when I feel like dying. Sigh! My head,throat, stomach and all other body parts( ok, this sounds wrong) is aching like crazy. Aargh! N, I feel sooo bored! It feels soo weird not to have a committment today. I think I have turned into a machine. Hahahaha. Okaay... Now, I am creeping myself out. I honestly think I have gone nuts. Too much stress...Probably, I should get my lazy ass moving and go down for a swim! Life is soo crazy. I know this is like the tenth time I am typing this down but I SERIOUSLY CANNOT HELP IT! Life is soo like a big, winding path with all the sudden turns. Self-esteem books say that we have to get out of our comfort zone and try new stuff. Perharps I should do that. What is the one thing that I love doing but I have no guts doing it? Erm... maybe, I should take up another language. I have always wanted to do that anyway.
★ I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Tuesday, April 3, 2007 | Time: 4:45 AM
No, realli. I literally hate my life. I hate everything about my life, about me, about how things are going. I hate myself for loving people too much. The pain that follows suit when the person you truly love turn their backs on you is SOOO not worth it. I regret aiming for perfection now. My closest cousin, the one that I have known ever since I was one, has changed SOOO much, and it is not for the better. He does not come to me for advice anymore, he has found new and closer friends. How do I tell him that I miss him? That I love him more than he can possibly imagine? That all those seemingly matured and ridiculous advice that I gave him was for his own good? That I care for him deeply? That he is on the wrong path? That having fun now does not matter? That he has the entire future in front of him? That our grandma loved him and wanted him to be someone in life? And that I am not his competitor but his friend, the one he used to love just as much?I have always acted that I do not give a shit about he becoming closer to others but it hurts terribly on the inside.I feel so guilty! So responsible! But,I did nothing and I cant do anything much now. I just hate myself for letting him go so easily...