Memoirs Of A Dancer

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Date: Monday, September 29, 2008 | Time: 4:32 AM

I am finally going to agree with Nans and Farhan that I am a workaholic! I guess that I have been doing soo much stuff at one short for the past few months that my system is finally trying to tell me- " Hello? You are a human, not a machine". I did absolutely nothing worthy today and I feel like a lazy bloke. I mean, I just moped around the house like a zombie. I hate lazing around! I cant even do that right. Missed my Maths lecture for the second time, I know, *tsk tsk* what a horrible student and am slllowely reverting back to my old, lets study last minute girl! Someone pump some sense into meee!!!!!!!! But I cant help it, I feel like I am twenty years older than my actual age. I hate having a fever! And flu and sore throat.. Aargh!!!

Thank god sangeetam performance finished yesterday before I got my sore throat. I sound like a little froggie now. Lols. Why am I sooo shy to sing in front of people, as in really sing when I do not give a shit about dancing anywhere and everywhere? Umm... food for thought.

Nans o levels are nearing and I am scared for her... I really hope that she does welll and beats my score! Go Nans!:)

How would live have been if I did not have Ma as my mother and Pa as my father? thought about it and realised a whole lot different and SCARY! Then, I know that though I whine to Nans about my too curvaceous figure, ultra big nose and stupid pimples all over my face, I love being me and JUST ME! I shudder to think what the world would have been without me in. A scary thought indeed! Hehe:)

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Date: Wednesday, September 24, 2008 | Time: 8:35 PM

Liverpool is now second. Aargh! But, really, something in me tells me that they are gonna win this season! * fingers crossed*
Celebrated Addie's 19th birthday this Monday! Haha, it was fun. I have photos but just too lazy to upload I guess. Then, met Janu this Wednesday at Macs to do some serious gossiping and bitching and well, it REALLY helps to relieve a lot of stress. Hehe. Janu and I came to the conclusion that we are VERY, VERY similar even slightly in terms of looks though she is the prettier one. Lols. Nans was at a loss when we agreed on everything form the fact that we are grossed at the prospect of an arranged marriage to the observation that Indian guys fall either for girls who are flat or girls who behave cheaply. Muahaha.*evil cackles* Nans insisted that the both of us were just depressed. Yeah, right.
Well, anyway.. Nitishie had his first tooth( or should I say first two teeth?) appearance yesterday! and they are coming for sleepover 2 this Saturday to talk about his birthday celebration! Yeah! And deepavali is coming realll sooon. Cant wait!:)

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Date: Thursday, September 18, 2008 | Time: 7:34 PM

This post is dedicated to the one person that matters to me loads, though I do not always show it and irritate the shit out of her, my dear Nans, my true angel, my partner in crime and my soul mate:)

On 18 may 1992, my mother gave me the best gift anyone could ever give me. I was the happiest that day cos I had myself a real, live doll who I can play with, tease and just love her to bits without any restrictions. I was three that day( just turned three since my birthday is on the 10th and all.) and already in my heart, I knew that my baby sister is going to be my BEST FRIEND.

Over the years, we grew up together, fought like cats and dogs and still I loved her as much. We said and still say hurtful things to each other but we forgive each other very easily.( something that we dont do with other people.) I get angry on her behalf and she got angry on mine. We were and are like day and night. When I danced my heart away hogging the limelight, she stood in my shadows, basking in my attention and still loving me for it. When she did beautiful paintings and sculptures and awed everyone with her deep sense of creativity, I was the proudest sister in the whole world, though I did not tell her. When she was made HEAD PREFECT, I was the happiest and proudest soul in the whole world. My pride knew no limits. When I saw her grow up into an individual that she is, I am soo glad that I knew that she was born to make a difference in this world. And, I STILL believe in the miracles that you are gonna make Nans. Even if you have stopped believing in yourself, I will never do that cos I have more faith in you than I have in myself. I BELIEVE IN YOU NANDHINI, SO DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!! Show the world and its people what you REALLY are made up of. Cos you are my sister, my best friend, my soul mate. I know things about you that even you do not know and my trust in you will never waver, I repeat, NEVER WAVER.

As for the breakdown in communication, I am sorry if I have been snapping at you but I am not like all those friends who left you in the lurch. I WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF THE WORLD STOPS SPINNING! And you know, I mean what I say. I love you Nans, more than you will never know. And, we will always be sisters, gossipping, giggling and we will NEVER STOP TALKING.I guarantee you that.

If God asks me what is my most treasured possession, without a moment's hesitation, I will say my family. But if he asks me to narrow it down, my most favoured treasure is the one that Ma gave me sixteen years ago, YOU NANS!

Have you realised how in every one of the photos, I am holding you tight? Cos thats the truth darling, I will always be by your side even when you do not need me:)

Thanks for being the brightest ray of sunshine in my life and thanks for teaching me soo many things. Without you Nans, I am nothing;P

LOVE YOU!

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Date: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 | Time: 11:24 PM

I hate feeling like this. Like my soul, mind and body has been torn apart into various different pieces. Aargh! I cant bring myself to go for tuition though I know I should. I feel super sick but dont want to waste money seeing the doctor and all. I think I should but I do not want to.
I hate myself for always trying to do the right thing. Man, sometimes I wish that I can grow feathers overnight and soar away to some unknown world where I will be free of pain and suffering and worries but I know that is just my stupid schizmo talking. Pain, suffering and worries are part of a human's life. What if I do not want that life anymore?

Okayyy, I think I am losing my mind. Better go and take some rest.

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Date: Monday, September 15, 2008 | Time: 6:29 AM

Super sick today. Hate it when I get these fainting spells. Being anaemic is no joke. Fainted twice at home and hence, was not able to go for Maths class. Aargh! Thank god I have Pam who is super sweet and has already messaged me what they did in class and I have tons of reading to do!!!!!*grimaces* Missing JC life:(

Anyway, Nans and I did not go for sangeetam or dance last Saturday cos Nitishie, Siva anna and Vicki anni came over for a sleepover! And it was super super fun! I have fallen in love with my first nephew! He is sooo adorable and he calls me 'attha' and when he wants me to sing every single song to him. I have already sang him to sleep- twice! Haha. I have finally found my first male fan*grins widely while still grimacing in pain.* Nans and I were playing and cooing to him the whole day and night. Anna treated us to KFC and we were all watching the Liverpool versus Manchester United match. I was the only Liverpool fan there and amidst all the taunts during the match. guess who ended up triumphant? LIVERPOOL!Yay! They won Man U 2-1! *pumps fist in the air* I was dancing and skipping around the whole place, irritating the shit out of Vicki anni, Siva anna and Nans. Haha, SO THERE!

We were up till two in the morning and Nitishie decided to wake us up at seven so had very few hours of sleep. again, the playing and the teasing started. Ma cooked up the most delicious lunch ever and we stuffed ourselves, two hours after having a very, very filling breakfast. I swear that I have put on a few pounds. But I am not caring anymore! Life is for living and I am going to live it to the fullest!

YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE...

We have returned so beware;)

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Date: Wednesday, September 10, 2008 | Time: 8:22 PM

Just some random thoughts and ideas. Before that, school was awesome this week, The stats test was postponed to next week but that is my favourite module thus far, so I better make sure that it will stay that way.
First of all, I have to salute Nandhini for being such a strong-minded girl who sticks to her beliefs no matter what. She may be small but I think she can teach all of us a little something when she wants to. I am so glad that I have gotten her as my sister and not some petty girl who cries for every single thing. Heck, I am glad that though we were born as blood sisters, we chose to be friends and soulmates and I guess not everyone is that lucky. Sure, we do fight and all but we patch up as fast as possible cos we accept when it is our mistakes and we try to make amends for it. I think without that idiot, I will be one lost soul in this world.

LOVE YA NANS AND THANKS FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME!

And no matter how I see it, I have always been a whiner, someone who wants to attain something better that what they already have. Some might call it ambitious, some may call it kiasuism but I call it whining. I guess almost everyone has that but I honestly think that people should stop looking at the anvils in their rice and concentrate on the pure white rice that God has provided us with. I love this analogy cos its mine:) Haha, anyway I am going to try my best to look at the brighter outlook in life. In the end, we all only have one life to live and I guess we better do it without any regrets and live it to the fullest.

Hahaha, as a final note, my five Ls of LIFE:

LOVE, it does make the world go round.
LEARN, knowledge holds power that cannot be measured.
LAUGH, it is the best medicine.
LISTEN to the beautiful sounds around you and do
LOOK at the blossoming roses and the sunrise once in a while...

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Date: Wednesday, September 3, 2008 | Time: 10:11 PM

Deepavali shopping officially started yesterday!!!! It was shopping the whole day and was super duper fun. I went for Sangeeta's tuition in the morning at ten and met Ma and Nandhini at yishun mrt at one. And that was the start of the shopping spree.We headed towards Orchard and went to MMI first to hand in Ma's practicum schedule. We then walked towards Zara where I finally got my long awaited off-shoulder blouse. And it was a steal at only 30 bucks. Haha, Really, really happy;) Then, we went to Takashimaya and looked at some pearl necklaces which was very very pretty. We then walked all the way back to Marks and Spencer's to find a dress for me but the variety was such a disappointment!There were only like three different types of dresses and they sooo not my type. To fight off my frustration, we went to Borders' to find for Valley Of Silence and my bad luck, all the other books were there EXCEPT for that:( *sobs* I am still hunting for it and will not stop until I succeed! We then walked to one of those shops where Nandhini and I got identical watches, just that mine was pink and hers white. Sista power! Lols, and Nans got herself a really glam ring.
We realised that we have been walking for almost two hours- NON STOP! And I was the only one still going strong. Muahahaha!* evil cackles* Moreover, we were meeting Siva anna, Vicki anni and Nitish at the new Tekka market so we decided to take the train to ' Little India ' ( say that in the same annoying tone that the voice in the mrt does) . We went to Komala Villas first where Ma and Nans took their really late lunch. We then walked to the new tekka market where we awaited the arrival of Nitish Karthikeyan, together with his parents. Lols. They arrived at six and we started hunting for Punjabi suits for Nans and myself and we were successful! Super delighted! Cant wait to wear it! *grins widely* We got Nitish a jippa suit and he is going to take breathes away, believe me! And it was sooo fun, walking in the rain, teasing each other, making fun of those really ugly and weird costumes. Sooo glad that Nans and I have gotten ourselves an anni who we can relate to and a nephew who is utterly GORGEOUS! Hehe.

DEEPAVALI SHOPPING HAS STARTED WITH A GREAT BANG!!!!!!